When I first came here, some expat woman warned me about Libyan men. Or to be more exact, about attitude that they carry for "western woman". They gave all sort of advice and always finished by saying you will get used to it.
But I can not get used to it. I don't believe that anyone brought up in non-oppressed country ever could.
Apparently most Libyan men (and some share of woman) think that foreign woman are easy and therefore should not be treated with respect. It also seems that men think that we like it if they make vulgar gestures or yell sexually abusing words at us while we are passing by. I am not entirely sure do they do it to prove their manhood to their sneering friends or they actually think that you were just waiting for them to yell something so you finally feel enlightened to do... exactly what?
Now, vulgarity and yelling aside, there is also normal, every day staring. Wherever you go, whenever you go, men are going to stare at you. If you have blond hair, oh my! Why, it is like circus here, and you are the 3 eyed bearded woman!
This will happen especially if you are alone outside or with female friend. Having your husband and 3 children in the tow is not going to make much difference either.
Most days it is (just) a big nuisance. But there are days, when it is just too much and when I would most like to slam as many times as I can into that Libyan car whose driver is making it just too clear what he wants from me.
When I feel like that, I think that anywhere else would be fine. As long as it is not Arab country.
So, I am looking forward to vacation.
To the place when I can walk on the street and not one guy is going to yell obscenity after me.
To the place where I can sit in a cafe and have coffee without the waiter coming and asking where am I from, and then mentioning that he heard woman there like to party.
To the place where I can drive uninterrupted by the honk of a car next me with the driver all but hanging out of window to get me to take notice of him.
To the place where horny teenage boys know their place.
To the place where I can wear bikini on any beach, not just on special beach for foreigners.
To the place where your neighbors greet you and don't look away.
To the place where I don't need G to get documents for me because it is better that way.
To the place which I call home.
Disclaimer * dressing "appropriately" aka loose fitting clothes which cover upper arms and knees (along with other, more common sense attributes) will help you fell more comfortable with yourself. However, It will have no effect on the treatment you receive. If you do not wear hijab (head scarf) and come from Libya there is not much you can do.
May 31, 2008
May 27, 2008
May 22, 2008
My neighbors
I woke up this morning gaping for the air. I sat in my bed confused and sleepy and tried to get my brain to cooperate and tell me whats happening.. After a while i came to few conclusions.
I am alone in the bed. G went to work. My left foot is itching. Maybe not the reason for waking up. There is clothes on the floor. Nothing new there. Alarm clock didnt go off again. Or maybe it did.. And finally... There is smoke in the bedroom.
Our house is a bit drafty and I do my best to make it even more so. All strategic windows are kept open so fresh spring air (pfff) can enter the house and maybe see how nice it is and stay... But the downside of it is that occasional not so nice fragrance also gets in. And again, in the case of fire there would be no containment of it. All that air coming in, going out.. Fire would be very happy here.
So I got up, and stumbeled around the house for a while trying to see where is it coming from. And then I remembered.
Last year our back neighbors were burning some of their embassy confidential papers (some of them flew over the wall to us. and I am curious person.) and something that smelled like tire. They burned it just on the other side of the wall dividing our 2 properties. I guess that spot was furthest away from their house. So I walked to our back garden and there it was. Smoke was flowing down the wall, burned papers flying around..
As I think mentioned before, in Libya each house is surrounded by 3-4 meters high walls. There is appeal in it - like walking naked in your garden and noone can see you. Unless your neighbors across the street dont have huge house and they ALWAYS hang out of their first floor windows... The walls are fine. I would feel very unconfortable here not to have them actually. The thing is that having these walls sometimes mean that people do stuff in their gardens which they would not do (if they were sane) if their neighbor had a chance to pop his head above the hedge and express his feelings. Or I hope they wouldnt, but then again one never knows here...
Since we live in Gargaresh area, our plot is small and our walls are very close to the house. And the effect of it.. It is like sitting on the bottom of empty swimming pool in the middle of the summer. Our back garden (tropical, planted by us. Us...US!!!!!) is small and the wall is just 3 meters from the house. 3 meters from our bedroom. 3 meters from the bed which is in front of the window!
So what kind of bloody idiot burns plastic and paper next to the wall in his back garden? He, and I know it was he, since I finally got so angry to go up the roof and scream at him (see previous post) . I actually went up on the roof to see the fire since I can see in their garden from there (i am also rude person. sometimes). And I see guy bringing in more papers. For the fire..And HE waves at me and smiles! Oh, then it is fine. I cant breathe, he is sending burning pieces of paper over the wall on my bannana plants, pond is full of floating half burned paper, my head is throbbing and he is smiling.
Does he really not understand that it is at the very least "not nice" or WRONG to inflict smoke upon your neighbors just because you dont have a paper shredder? Or sanity to use garbage service for old tires that you have laying around your garden?
I give up.
I think I am going to make myself gin-tonic!
I am alone in the bed. G went to work. My left foot is itching. Maybe not the reason for waking up. There is clothes on the floor. Nothing new there. Alarm clock didnt go off again. Or maybe it did.. And finally... There is smoke in the bedroom.
Our house is a bit drafty and I do my best to make it even more so. All strategic windows are kept open so fresh spring air (pfff) can enter the house and maybe see how nice it is and stay... But the downside of it is that occasional not so nice fragrance also gets in. And again, in the case of fire there would be no containment of it. All that air coming in, going out.. Fire would be very happy here.
So I got up, and stumbeled around the house for a while trying to see where is it coming from. And then I remembered.
Last year our back neighbors were burning some of their embassy confidential papers (some of them flew over the wall to us. and I am curious person.) and something that smelled like tire. They burned it just on the other side of the wall dividing our 2 properties. I guess that spot was furthest away from their house. So I walked to our back garden and there it was. Smoke was flowing down the wall, burned papers flying around..
As I think mentioned before, in Libya each house is surrounded by 3-4 meters high walls. There is appeal in it - like walking naked in your garden and noone can see you. Unless your neighbors across the street dont have huge house and they ALWAYS hang out of their first floor windows... The walls are fine. I would feel very unconfortable here not to have them actually. The thing is that having these walls sometimes mean that people do stuff in their gardens which they would not do (if they were sane) if their neighbor had a chance to pop his head above the hedge and express his feelings. Or I hope they wouldnt, but then again one never knows here...
Since we live in Gargaresh area, our plot is small and our walls are very close to the house. And the effect of it.. It is like sitting on the bottom of empty swimming pool in the middle of the summer. Our back garden (tropical, planted by us. Us...US!!!!!) is small and the wall is just 3 meters from the house. 3 meters from our bedroom. 3 meters from the bed which is in front of the window!
So what kind of bloody idiot burns plastic and paper next to the wall in his back garden? He, and I know it was he, since I finally got so angry to go up the roof and scream at him (see previous post) . I actually went up on the roof to see the fire since I can see in their garden from there (i am also rude person. sometimes). And I see guy bringing in more papers. For the fire..And HE waves at me and smiles! Oh, then it is fine. I cant breathe, he is sending burning pieces of paper over the wall on my bannana plants, pond is full of floating half burned paper, my head is throbbing and he is smiling.
Does he really not understand that it is at the very least "not nice" or WRONG to inflict smoke upon your neighbors just because you dont have a paper shredder? Or sanity to use garbage service for old tires that you have laying around your garden?
I give up.
I think I am going to make myself gin-tonic!
May 21, 2008
Things I do - Sometimes.
Sometimes I..
- live for whole day of chocolate cake with strawberry jam and coffee
- forget to water my plants
-get soooo angry that I want to go up the roof and scream
-lay out in the full libyan sun without sun-block
-am a bitch
-wish I was still naive and innocent
-am way to stubborn
-am not making any sense to other people
-do not finish what I started
-am proper. By all means.
- live for whole day of chocolate cake with strawberry jam and coffee
- forget to water my plants
-get soooo angry that I want to go up the roof and scream
-lay out in the full libyan sun without sun-block
-am a bitch
-wish I was still naive and innocent
-am way to stubborn
-am not making any sense to other people
-do not finish what I started
-am proper. By all means.
May 15, 2008
Back in Libya
Well, Ive been back for a week now, but was busy with some stuff, so I am going to put up some pics from Egypt in the meantime..
Just to say one thing - I loved Cairo!! Loved it!
Just to say one thing - I loved Cairo!! Loved it!
Corniche promenade in Cairo. It was just sooo refreshing to see young couples meeting in public like this.
Corniche again. People strolling along or just hanging out.
View of Cairo from the pyramides plateau. This populated area on the picture used to be agricultural land with rich and fertile black silt. Until someone decided to take it and bake it in the ovens and make bricks for ugly buildings that were then built there and left unpainted. Guy on the camel is regular at the pyramides. 20 pounds, my friend, 20 pounds!! And a bit more for my children...
View of pyramides and Sphinx from nearby caffe. We came to the site in the afternoon and ended up staying until it was closed. The pyramides, not the caffe.
Traffic in Cairo. This picture does not do it justice.
Corniche again. People strolling along or just hanging out.
View of Cairo from the pyramides plateau. This populated area on the picture used to be agricultural land with rich and fertile black silt. Until someone decided to take it and bake it in the ovens and make bricks for ugly buildings that were then built there and left unpainted. Guy on the camel is regular at the pyramides. 20 pounds, my friend, 20 pounds!! And a bit more for my children...
View of pyramides and Sphinx from nearby caffe. We came to the site in the afternoon and ended up staying until it was closed. The pyramides, not the caffe.
Traffic in Cairo. This picture does not do it justice.
May 1, 2008
Booking a plane ticket in Libya
We decided to skip to Egypt for a few days. Few blissfull days in nice hotel with spa, swimming pool, gorgeous inner garden, a beautiful bedroom which will be tidied up every time we leave and last but not least - perfect breakfast buffet. Faboulous! And of course, the pyramids and all that.
But in order for all these events to actually take place we have to be there. And in order to be there we have to fly there. Not so complicated at all. Find a ticket. Book a ticket. Come to airport on time.
Alas. This is Libya after all.Day -8: G contacts his company travel people. He specifies in his e-mail which dates we would like to be flying. So lets say 1 May to Cairo and 4 May coming back.
He also tells them that if possible to have outward flight in the morning and inward in the evening. (That way we have more time for hotel spa , uhm sightseeing.)
Day -7: No news
Day -6: Its Friday. Travel people are off.
Day -5: G calls travel people to see if there are any news. They asure him they are working on it
and that he will be be First one they will contact when they know more.
Day -4: E-mail received from travel people. We are apparently flying on 1 May and coming back on 3 May in the morning..... G again calls them and explains (nicely) this is not what he asked for.
They tell him not to worry they will find something else.
Day -3: 16:30 e-mail from travel people. We are flying on 2 May and coming back on 4 May. By the time G calls them, travel people are gone home for a day.
Day -2: G sends them original e-mail again with request that they give us some options ASAP.
Travel people come back few hours later
- We are sorry, this flights are full now. If you told us this is what you want from the beginning, it would be no problem. Which dates would you like now? G doesnt point out to this helpful soul that he did in fact tell them this from the beginning and he tries with another date - 2 May to 5 May. G is very nice person like that. They inform him that they have to look for ticket again, but it should not be a problem.
At this point I am having panic attack at home at the prospect of NOT going at all and I decide it is better to deal with it in person. Also, I come to conclusion that it is his company travel people
who are the problem. Not all libian travel people. God forbid. So when G comes home we get in the car and go down to Al-Fatah tower. There are few travel agencies on the ground floor that I wanted to try.
We go into the first one that is open and tell the guy that we would like to purchase 2 tickets
for Cairo on 2 May, coming back on 5 May.
Travel agent (TA): Which airline would you like to fly?
Us: Do all of them have flights on these days?
TA: No problem, no problem. Which airline?
Us: What are the options?
TA: Afriqai, Libyan Airlines and Egypt airlines.
Us: Ok, then... (no clue) Egypt airlines.
TA: Which date please?
Us: 2 May to 5 May.
TA: Ok, then 3 May we have...
Us: No, 2 May please.
TA: Ok, ok no problem. 2 May....Typing something. Looking at the screen confused. Typing again. And on the screen same message appears - wrong code. please try again.
Few moments later....
TA: Ok, there is flight on 2 May.
Us: Great! Can you see is there flight on 5 May from Cairo?
TA: No problem, no problem! Typing again. This time right code. There is flight on 5th.
Us: Can you tell us how much is the ticket?
TA: 332 Libian dinars
Us: (This is better than what Gs travel people came up with. hopes are up) Ok, we would like to
buy 2 tickets.
TA: 2?! There are no 2 tickets! There is only one left on the flight from Cairo! But no problem. You can be on the wait list. No problem. Or you (looking at G) can take other plane. Some other day...
Us: Hm... That would not be good.... Can you check other airline then?
TA: Which one?
Us: (we doooont careeee) Libian airlines then.
TA: typing..... Yes, there is room on Libian airlines flight from Cairo. Looking at us happily.
Us: Can we buy a ticket then?
TA: But it is no good to fly one way with Egypt Airlines and other way with Libian.. 2 tickets. very expensive.
Us: Ok, Can you check then that we fly with Libian Airlines both ways?
TA: typing... Yes but there is no room in economy. Too expensive!!! No, no..
Us: How much is the ticket?
TA: too expensive, too expensive... 530 dinars
Us: (thats how much Gs travel people asked). That is ok, we would like to buy ticket now.
TA: Ok, but it expensive. So 2 May to Cairo, 7 May back to Tripoli...
Us: No, no it is 2 May to 5 May!!
TA: Aha, ok. typing.... Flight full.
Us: (%&/%&$)
I will not continue, but you get the picture. We tried few more combinations at the travel agent, but it got too complicated so we left.
Day -1: No news from travel people. That evening we went to another travel agent (I dont give up easily) in Al-Fatah. He tried to persuade us we should go to Sharm instead of Cairo and when we told him in the end that we are going to Cairo, he told us he can not help us with the tickets today because he is closed.
Day 0: We were supposed to be on the plane to Cairo. But alas, one can not do that without airline ticket....
To finish off this little story - Now it is afternoon and we still have no plane tickets. Hotel is not booked either. And if by the time this bloody travel people figure out how to book a plane ticket hotel gets overbooked, I will kill them. With my bare hands.
He also tells them that if possible to have outward flight in the morning and inward in the evening. (That way we have more time for hotel spa , uhm sightseeing.)
Day -7: No news
Day -6: Its Friday. Travel people are off.
Day -5: G calls travel people to see if there are any news. They asure him they are working on it
and that he will be be First one they will contact when they know more.
Day -4: E-mail received from travel people. We are apparently flying on 1 May and coming back on 3 May in the morning..... G again calls them and explains (nicely) this is not what he asked for.
They tell him not to worry they will find something else.
Day -3: 16:30 e-mail from travel people. We are flying on 2 May and coming back on 4 May. By the time G calls them, travel people are gone home for a day.
Day -2: G sends them original e-mail again with request that they give us some options ASAP.
Travel people come back few hours later
- We are sorry, this flights are full now. If you told us this is what you want from the beginning, it would be no problem. Which dates would you like now? G doesnt point out to this helpful soul that he did in fact tell them this from the beginning and he tries with another date - 2 May to 5 May. G is very nice person like that. They inform him that they have to look for ticket again, but it should not be a problem.
At this point I am having panic attack at home at the prospect of NOT going at all and I decide it is better to deal with it in person. Also, I come to conclusion that it is his company travel people
who are the problem. Not all libian travel people. God forbid. So when G comes home we get in the car and go down to Al-Fatah tower. There are few travel agencies on the ground floor that I wanted to try.
We go into the first one that is open and tell the guy that we would like to purchase 2 tickets
for Cairo on 2 May, coming back on 5 May.
Travel agent (TA): Which airline would you like to fly?
Us: Do all of them have flights on these days?
TA: No problem, no problem. Which airline?
Us: What are the options?
TA: Afriqai, Libyan Airlines and Egypt airlines.
Us: Ok, then... (no clue) Egypt airlines.
TA: Which date please?
Us: 2 May to 5 May.
TA: Ok, then 3 May we have...
Us: No, 2 May please.
TA: Ok, ok no problem. 2 May....Typing something. Looking at the screen confused. Typing again. And on the screen same message appears - wrong code. please try again.
Few moments later....
TA: Ok, there is flight on 2 May.
Us: Great! Can you see is there flight on 5 May from Cairo?
TA: No problem, no problem! Typing again. This time right code. There is flight on 5th.
Us: Can you tell us how much is the ticket?
TA: 332 Libian dinars
Us: (This is better than what Gs travel people came up with. hopes are up) Ok, we would like to
buy 2 tickets.
TA: 2?! There are no 2 tickets! There is only one left on the flight from Cairo! But no problem. You can be on the wait list. No problem. Or you (looking at G) can take other plane. Some other day...
Us: Hm... That would not be good.... Can you check other airline then?
TA: Which one?
Us: (we doooont careeee) Libian airlines then.
TA: typing..... Yes, there is room on Libian airlines flight from Cairo. Looking at us happily.
Us: Can we buy a ticket then?
TA: But it is no good to fly one way with Egypt Airlines and other way with Libian.. 2 tickets. very expensive.
Us: Ok, Can you check then that we fly with Libian Airlines both ways?
TA: typing... Yes but there is no room in economy. Too expensive!!! No, no..
Us: How much is the ticket?
TA: too expensive, too expensive... 530 dinars
Us: (thats how much Gs travel people asked). That is ok, we would like to buy ticket now.
TA: Ok, but it expensive. So 2 May to Cairo, 7 May back to Tripoli...
Us: No, no it is 2 May to 5 May!!
TA: Aha, ok. typing.... Flight full.
Us: (%&/%&$)
I will not continue, but you get the picture. We tried few more combinations at the travel agent, but it got too complicated so we left.
Day -1: No news from travel people. That evening we went to another travel agent (I dont give up easily) in Al-Fatah. He tried to persuade us we should go to Sharm instead of Cairo and when we told him in the end that we are going to Cairo, he told us he can not help us with the tickets today because he is closed.
Day 0: We were supposed to be on the plane to Cairo. But alas, one can not do that without airline ticket....
To finish off this little story - Now it is afternoon and we still have no plane tickets. Hotel is not booked either. And if by the time this bloody travel people figure out how to book a plane ticket hotel gets overbooked, I will kill them. With my bare hands.
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